Who the fuck where when? Is all my brain rattles. I can think, but not in my usual way. Who the fuck where when. Spending Sunday as most English people do, nursing a hangover, eating a roast dinner & enduring what seems like endless period dramas, or Songs Of Praise TV specials. This is how I spend mine: Studying David Lynch lectures on consciousness, dreams & reality. Drinking mint tea, smoking the odd rolled cigarette, and generally perfecting the minimalist approach to life. By 10pm I decide i'm tired, and begin the motions of unwinding. Then a baby turns up. Or rather a screaming entity. For a while, I endure it. Then, I have to go down and face it. I make jokes at first: the Devil, possession, Exorcist jokes. I play a blues number to back up little Muddy Waters. "MwaAAGHH BABY's LEft Meeeeeee." Howling Wolf cries. "Pleeeeeeeeezzze, put mE Do-oWn." Over and over and over again. "No baby can keep it up for more than 30 minutes." But the human Power heavy metal solo is unrelenting. He's producing dive dombs, harped arpeggios, pinched harmonics in keys I never knew existed. I contemplate things I should not. It's not funny anymore.
And I think to myself. Why would the production of children ever ever enter anyone's mind? Loneliness? Body clock ticking? Stupidity? And, then this makes me think even more. Perhaps my life turned a different corner once, and became one of bachelorhood; one of personal improvement, perfection of happiness. Selfishness. Who are we to choose to nurture our own selfish desire for happy fulfilment, when a sad, angry or hysterical baby is in our immediate presence? And that is just it: It is only when things are in our immediate vicinity that we begin to abandon our selfishness, and begin to focus on the needs of others. When it is beyond our senses, we assume it doesn't exist, and all is merry and calm. But still, i'm gonna invent some kind of protective forcefield mesh to keep all baby cries away from my ears. And, I thought living with Tinnitus was tough.
Time to don the Foil Hat: Is there any coincidence that the British Army has publicly decided to withdraw from Basra so close to the start of a major Christian festival? It feels as though 'Big Brother' is trying to promote the suggestion that it is God's will (Christian God) and we should all (Muslims included) be thankful for it. Absolute Bastards. That's what I say. It is the Christian loving, money crazy community which invaded a mostly destitute country in the first place. But then, to manufacture the suggestion that their God is now merciful, after they have pillaged all that they require first, is a terrible terrible act of..... Well. It makes me feel sick.