You land a Glaswegian feminist Shia Muslim to be your classroom assessor.
I mean why would you possibly put someone like that in such a position of power? It's like handing a gun to a child. Especially, considering I am totally self aware that I'm the complete polar opposite of Miss Montgomery Burns. I feel like a tiny Gazelle being filmed by National Geographic. Only, Mr Hippo the script editor has just whispered in my short velvety ear that the episode is called 'How Lions Hunt........The fate of the Gazelle.........Not suitable for minors, vegetarians, or people with a weak constitution.....Because the truth is there is going to be a lot of blood......The last thing that poor Gazelle is going to see is his intestines being chewed inside a set of teeth......Do you recall that famous scene from Aliens where the water is dripping from the Alien's slowly protruding fangs?.....This is going to be much much worse.'

Roar!!!