My detox has ended. Well, it had ended a couple of days ago. I managed 15 days, and only three beers and three cigarettes in between. Which, you might say, is a rule breaker. But, I don't really care. I did it for me, to do the best that I could. And, I'm happy that I did it. Things happened in between, which might be attributed to sobriety: I went out on my bike again, I played some tennis, I even swang some golf. Learning to say no when you want to, when you feel it becomes important is the right choice, the right thing to do, because you choose it to be. Often our normal tendency is to try to blame our problems on others, on external factors. Furthermore, we tend to look for one single cause, and then try to exonerate ourselves from the responsibility. It seems that whenever there are intense emotions involved, there tends to be a disparity between how things appear and how they really are. In this case, if you go further and analyse the situation very carefully, you'll see that the Dictator is part of the source of the problem, one of the factors, but there are other contributing factors as well. Once you realise this, your earlier attitude that the Dictator is the only cause automatically falls away, and the reality of the situation emerges.
Dl suggests that "Of course, I may initially feel a sense of disappointment when somebody isn't truthful, but even here, if I examine the situation, I may discover that in fact their motive for hiding something from me may not be the result of a bad motive. It may be that they simply have a certain lack of confidence in me. My nature tends to be quite straightforward, so because the person may have decided that I'm not the right person who can keep secrets, that I may not be able to keep secrets as many people would expect. In other words, I am not worthy of the person's full trust because of my personal nature. So looking at it in that way, I would consider the cause to be due to my own fault. It's all about finding your own contribution to another's dishonesty."