Today was funny. Probably not for you, but for me it was. I agreed to collect my Sister from the airport. But as per usual, she was delayed by quite some time, but in the airport time is money. I hung around briefly, only there is no longer a free pick-up/drop-off area all down to a crazy man in an exploding car at Glasgow Airport sometime ago. You now have no other option but to use the short-stay car park, and by short-stay, I mean 'charge a fortune'. It's £2/$4 per half hour. And I was going to have to wait for several of those.
Anyway, my time was eventually called, and I entered the short-stay car park, with an idea to swoop, pick up, and leave, to test out my theory that it just might be possible to pick someone up within 2 minutes and leave, without having a charge incurred. I wanted to test my disbelief too, that people will capitalise on terror. And, they really do do that you know?
So I swooped fiercely. I was there for under a minute. We headed for the exit barrier. The shiny metal monolith gloatingly informed us 'Please insert ticket or Credit card'. I inserted the ticket. 'Please pay £2 using payment method'. I laugh, my point proven. I insert credit card to pay. 'Card is not recognised'. I insert another. 'Card is not recognised'. I insert another. 'Card is not recognised' I borrow five cards from my Sister. 'Card is not recognised, Card is not recognised, Card is not recognised, Card is not recognised, Card is not recognised'. Our cards were not recognised.
Now, while I was having fun, And, I genuinely was having fun? A trail of cars started to slowly snake behind. Engines burning, tempers grinding. The typically English middle class guy, in the Ford behind me instantly decided that enough shall be enough, and he is going to stress his point like Mr Jobsworth. I kindly explain that the machine wont accept any credit cards. And that was as far as my kindness went, because he decided that he was going to moan, groan, complain and shout to every one inside and outside of his car. I open my door, stand up straight, walk calmly over to his car window, crouch and gaze silently for a few seconds, point the finger north, and calmy and quietly, say "Shush."
And, I shit you not, he shushes. His flowery dressed, panicking wife tugs his arm and orders him to "wind up the window". I smile, walk the ten paces to the payment machine, pay and leave. Fair enough, I may be wearing Anarchy uniform. But, I love power, it comes from within you all, you just have to be brave and use it. The guy genuinely was scared, and I'm sorry for everyone who had to meet him on a beach, or in a tapas bar, or wherever..Getting an oily rub down from Mustafa, but, he was genuinely scared of me, Mr pacifist. And, by pacifist, I mean throw acid in your eyes, and cut off your thumbs with garden shears... I'm kidding! My Sister seemed very impressed. "What's happened to you all this time?" she asks playfully.
And I smile, and say "Nothing". I don't handle bullshit very well.